In a recent post about who was favored to win a race, someone recently wrote that I’d slowed over the years. Ouch.
The author didn’t seem to have malicious intent and probably didn’t think how it would feel to read that, unsolicited, about yourself. He was just presenting an analysis of a few facts. Unfortunately, he was presenting a small, selective set of facts that inferred (or at least left any mildly intelligent reader to easily conclude) that I might win because I might be faster than the one other women registered (ouch for her too) and wasn’t expected to turn in a good time. Ouch, ouch, ouch.
Pick a set of finish times out of context and that’s the picture you get. Technically, I have slowed at the one other race I run in the area. But, to put that in back in proper context, I have also been…
Running more than twice the number of races I used to. I love the sport and adore trail running. I’m willing to sacrifice good finish times (and possibly the respect of others, my cats, and the public at large) in exchange for staying uninjured and enjoying this gift I have as much as I can while I can. It makes me happy.
(yes, I keep a spreadsheet and graphs. I'm an engineer...)
Running more 100-milers. Twice as many this year (if saying this doesn’t jinx me). Sure, I’ll come into this next 100-miler tired from completing Umstead 100-miler last weekend and maybe a bit slow than if this was my only 100 the entire year. But this is my first attempt at back-to-back 100s and that challenge is as exciting as facing my first 100.
Oh yeah, and setting a 100-mile PR. 25:40 on trail at 2008 Pinhoti. First Master’s female too. So there.
The author was judging my potential performance from a narrow perspective of numbers.
I judge my own performance from from a career-wide perspective. A lifetime perspective. My times here and there may have slowed to accommodate the more intense schedule but I’m running more than ever, seeing more new trails all over the country, meeting old friends more often, meeting more new friends, and trying more unique experiences like back-to-back 100s, racing 3 and 4 weekends in a row, stage races, and overseas races. And I still race “fast” when I feel like it. It feels great and I’m happier and more at peace with my running than I’ve ever been.
So who’s right? What’s really a good performance? A number or a number in context with the person’s life?
Do we care how people are exploring their limits and challenging us to expand ours, whether they’re using all their potential, whether they’re achieving the best quality experience, or are we just insatiably hungry for big news fix, the next American Idol? And the next and the next?
You’ll have to answer for yourself. I love my running right now, “slow” or not.
Susan,
What a great blog post!!
I’m struggling now with my own running performance relative to my times from a few years ago. I ask myself each run why I’m doing it. To be as fast as I use to? To impress others? To win races? No, no and no. I run to be outside, feel the sun, stay fit, meditate and think. It makes me feel good.
I think we all must ultimately decide for ourselves what is a “good” performance based on our value of running. The wise ones will not fall into the ego trap of letting others decide for us what is a “good” performance. They will define it for themselves.
Your running sounds amazing! I admire your tenacity and endurance. Thanks for sharing.
April 9, 2009 at 9:23 am | Reply
Susan – wise commentary! Bruce suggested I take a look at your blog. Now I see why. I too loved running, no matter that I was always one of the last in the race pack and slower than all my age mates. I ran until my knees and hips said “no more” and kept me awake all night with pain. Now, I poke along with Abbey and am glad to do so, but in my mind, the wind is rushing past my face while I lope up the trail. Good luck with your back-to-backs. We’re rooting for you! Greer
April 10, 2009 at 8:51 am | Reply
Thanks so much for the comment. I’ve spent a huge amount of time on this question in the past few years and have cobbled together a rough philosophy of why (and how) I race. I’ve been holding back a post on it (who’s interested? is it perfected yet?), but since you’re interested, I’ll try to post on it soon. Maybe it will add new perspective to your thoughts.
April 12, 2009 at 7:17 pm | Reply
Thanks Greer! I’m conscious these days more than ever that running, like life, is actually finite. I’ve been first place (like this weekend!) and last but either way, I’m just glad to be running. Come on out some Tuesday with Abbey and walk. You’d add a lot to main fun afterwards.
April 12, 2009 at 7:24 pm | Reply
Great insight and perspective, and extremely well expressed.
April 12, 2009 at 10:12 pm | Reply
I very much enjoyed this really fine blog by a fine engineer, super writer, insightful philosopher, and, oh yeah, an amazing runner. Proud we are related.
April 12, 2009 at 10:15 pm | Reply
Plus the fact that you run some to get others to the finish. This can’t improve your time, but its something you do for others! And you’re even introducing more competition, So there!
April 19, 2009 at 11:10 am | Reply